Some cities dont give second chances (cyclothymic) wrote in a_pen_poised,
Some cities dont give second chances
cyclothymic
a_pen_poised

The Gun, The Fire, The Bullet, The Blood

This weight
its crashing
its burning so deep inside my life
its a wood, catching fire in the night
burning till the morning light
it scorches ignored in the back of a mind
ignored till its charred bloody corpse is unearthed
its dug up its fucked up, its blood is all drained
the drive and desire have burnt like the leaves
they built up and burst and the flame licks them up
devoured desire and left me dried up
the fire is tamed and rolled and inhaled
and left me addicted and left me impaled
my insides are choking my outside has failed
im not to good looking and im lost in this hell
your away and your sailing on the big fucking blue
your sails are breathing the sky's red hue's
the rays from the fire mixed with the hydrogen sun
are making this mixture of blood in my lungs
im coughing im weeping, im longing im leaving
im lying and finding that its not this place
thats making me empty, its you i cant replace
i burnt out, i fuck up and im trying once more
to take you to arcades and places you adore
to make you  remember how much you stood for
to buy you a new life, to save me from mine
im wanting this badly, there is not enough time
we flew apart like north and south
you left like a bullet entering my mouth
i made the mistake of leaving you loaded
and triggering your functions to often to be safe
i made  your barrel shine, and i kept you so clean
but you claimed that i used you
to shoot at the birds, mainly the doves
that i could never have felt what i claimed was love
you made me so angry , so lost and so empty
i claimed you were lying and trying to tempt me
"you never loved me, its ME who was used"
i kept trying to show that it didnt hurt at all
when really it hurt more than i thought it should
i wanted not to love you
to save me the face
i wanted not to hug you goodbye on that day
no kisses no endings would end that way
you left me abnormal in more than one way
from being my life my reason for waking
everysingle solitary day
i havent liked a sunrise since
march the 14th


Try again
welcome back
it hardly feels like you were gone
until you feel the scars
but now that your back home
i wont worry anymore
I wont wait by the door
to see your face knock
but you wont have to
"its unlocked"

Ive waited alone in this house of my own
to hear the ringing bells of your return
ive waited so long just to see you come home
be the accompaniast to my depravated sleep

itll never be reset itll always be a new game
the rules have to be changed
ill always have to learn that what we had is over
and to roll the dice a different way
you have won forever and thats living shame
ill never have another and thats how i was tamed

its ok to start over, i mean i just wrote this song
i plan to call you and move this along
i want to try, just to be in your life
just to stand by your side
i want to help you, so that you wont cry
the next time its over or maybe im lying
to myself anyway cuz id like to think
that i matter enough to show you the way
but youve figured it out you dont need me
well im assuming so, because i was never told
i know that you love me i know that you loved me
you know that i knew you and love you so still
you know that you have me, whenver you need me
you know that you have me against my free will
im yours and i love it, it never hurt to be yours
you gone and i hate it, everyminute im alone
its over but im hoping i can start over once more
that i can say hello i love you and let it be known
that i fucked up and that was that , but this me now
im ready to put up and give up and listen to you tell me how
to make you happy and when to make it known that  ill love you forever
ill love you so much more, than you will ever know.


why do i post here and in my Lj its wierd because everyone in this community is on my friends list. i guess i do it because i want 'indepth" comments lol.
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